Thursday, September 07, 2006
Ahhh!!!! 2 months to go till my fantasy is fulfilled
Of course, if you were thinking I was talking about something dirty, then you'd be mistaking me for the wrong person. I can't wait. I really can't. Well, I can actually. But the reason I can wait, its because... well... I'll say it to the person/people who would get to know it... BWAHAHA.. well.. rather... Hmm... I don't know.
Anyway, getting along with this post. Final Fantasy XII is something I've looked forward to since, well... I was playing Final Fantasy X in 2002. Yes.. that's like an eternity.
And I'd post a picture up from my desktop, but unfortunately, the upload is really crappy and gay at the moment, so I'll deal with that in a month's time when my mac is returned to me XD to dublin.. I left it in KL.
Anyway, pondering.. with you two reading what I write here.. hm.. how much detail should I write... Hmm..... Maybe I'll just keep it to my diary.
LOL. Yes... I have a diary.
Anyway. Tickets for home are confirmed. 22nd Sept I leave Dublin. 30th Sept I fly back to Dublin. 27th Jan I leave Dublin. 10th Feb I fly back to Dublin. Must find out if Sylvia is going to fly back on MAS for end of Jan/ early Feb. Though I doubt she'd want to do it as tightly scheduled as I have done my ticket.
Hm. I hate having to travel alone sometimes. I guess the inflight entertainment system distracts me. But that works well only if I'm on a plane with good movies, like SIA. MAS just totally has outdated movies relative to SIA.
Lol. Hungry. Bought some grapes. €4.50 per 600g at M&S. Yes. Expensive. But nice. Ripe. Juicy.
Lol. I think I'll write a brief summary of what I am about to reveal totally one day. If I ever conjure the guts to say it in person.
In hindsight, perhaps it was the best thing for everyone. That I did not actually ask. That my interest that stemmed from long ago never really materialised, partially due to my lacking to ask such a peculiar thing. But I guess, its the best thing for I never really was able to show my true self when I'm under harsh stress.
Perhaps I find it hard to show my weakness to stress when I'm just with a friend or with friends. But I blow out pretty bad at times and my nonchalant attitude to my surroundings and things would certainly ensure anything rocky. I wouldn't ever want that with anyone I love. That's my one thing I don't want anyone to experience. I can be a real bastard. A real pain in the ass/neck.
I'm happy I suppose. That's what I keep telling myself. But then, what my true emotions are, even I wouldn't really know. I suppose that time brings much pain to things. So many good things I have experienced in life...
Lol. Well, that was kind of what I wanted to say. But if I had to tell that, it would be different. Much more difficult. But. That is what makes me the coward I am at heart. I have never been a leader. Perhaps I should try to be more proactive in activities. But then, words are easier said than done.
I have been very close to some of the best things in life. The problem with me is... I don't grasp it upon first oppurtunity. That's in general. I then hope that a 2nd chance comes by. But if that 2nd chance never comes by, I ought to know that I should've grasped that first chance. But there's no point in saying... The past is the past.
That was the case with me for my exams. I left it to my repeats. Suppose I didn't have repeats and had to leave though, there is no telling how devastated I could have been. That is why, I maybe, shouldn't contemplate entering a relationship, now or for the foreseeable future.
Wah... :S lol... I'm a good friend. But in a relationship, I suppose I'm pretty bad. I haven't tried. But I suppose I shouldn't ever contemplate the thought. But then... blah.. This is kind of getting nowhere. LOL. Hehe... Never mind.
In short, I am happy I went against the wishes of my own thoughts. Life isn't a dream. I have to snap to reality about things, especially relationships. The one thing I would hate to do is hurt a friend, out of an act of breaking up or so forth. And thus, I suppose, that makes it ultra hard for me to find it to be right... Sigh.
Anyway, getting along with this post. Final Fantasy XII is something I've looked forward to since, well... I was playing Final Fantasy X in 2002. Yes.. that's like an eternity.
And I'd post a picture up from my desktop, but unfortunately, the upload is really crappy and gay at the moment, so I'll deal with that in a month's time when my mac is returned to me XD to dublin.. I left it in KL.
Anyway, pondering.. with you two reading what I write here.. hm.. how much detail should I write... Hmm..... Maybe I'll just keep it to my diary.
LOL. Yes... I have a diary.
Anyway. Tickets for home are confirmed. 22nd Sept I leave Dublin. 30th Sept I fly back to Dublin. 27th Jan I leave Dublin. 10th Feb I fly back to Dublin. Must find out if Sylvia is going to fly back on MAS for end of Jan/ early Feb. Though I doubt she'd want to do it as tightly scheduled as I have done my ticket.
Hm. I hate having to travel alone sometimes. I guess the inflight entertainment system distracts me. But that works well only if I'm on a plane with good movies, like SIA. MAS just totally has outdated movies relative to SIA.
Lol. Hungry. Bought some grapes. €4.50 per 600g at M&S. Yes. Expensive. But nice. Ripe. Juicy.
Lol. I think I'll write a brief summary of what I am about to reveal totally one day. If I ever conjure the guts to say it in person.
In hindsight, perhaps it was the best thing for everyone. That I did not actually ask. That my interest that stemmed from long ago never really materialised, partially due to my lacking to ask such a peculiar thing. But I guess, its the best thing for I never really was able to show my true self when I'm under harsh stress.
Perhaps I find it hard to show my weakness to stress when I'm just with a friend or with friends. But I blow out pretty bad at times and my nonchalant attitude to my surroundings and things would certainly ensure anything rocky. I wouldn't ever want that with anyone I love. That's my one thing I don't want anyone to experience. I can be a real bastard. A real pain in the ass/neck.
I'm happy I suppose. That's what I keep telling myself. But then, what my true emotions are, even I wouldn't really know. I suppose that time brings much pain to things. So many good things I have experienced in life...
Lol. Well, that was kind of what I wanted to say. But if I had to tell that, it would be different. Much more difficult. But. That is what makes me the coward I am at heart. I have never been a leader. Perhaps I should try to be more proactive in activities. But then, words are easier said than done.
I have been very close to some of the best things in life. The problem with me is... I don't grasp it upon first oppurtunity. That's in general. I then hope that a 2nd chance comes by. But if that 2nd chance never comes by, I ought to know that I should've grasped that first chance. But there's no point in saying... The past is the past.
That was the case with me for my exams. I left it to my repeats. Suppose I didn't have repeats and had to leave though, there is no telling how devastated I could have been. That is why, I maybe, shouldn't contemplate entering a relationship, now or for the foreseeable future.
Wah... :S lol... I'm a good friend. But in a relationship, I suppose I'm pretty bad. I haven't tried. But I suppose I shouldn't ever contemplate the thought. But then... blah.. This is kind of getting nowhere. LOL. Hehe... Never mind.
In short, I am happy I went against the wishes of my own thoughts. Life isn't a dream. I have to snap to reality about things, especially relationships. The one thing I would hate to do is hurt a friend, out of an act of breaking up or so forth. And thus, I suppose, that makes it ultra hard for me to find it to be right... Sigh.
