Thursday, September 14, 2006
And so it comes
Well.. yeah.. I'm 20. No more a teenager. No longer holding the freedom of living.
Turning 20 marks a turning point in my life. A time in which I bear many more responsibilities than before.
Turning 20 means that I no longer have that youthful run of energy to keep thinking young. I have to mature further to allow for a responsible life.
Of course, this doesn't mean I get a GF, nor does it mean I get a car on my birthday. Far from it. I'm merely starting the next stage of my life, my tertiary education (and possible specialisation) is now the heart of education, having made way from secondary education.
Turning 20 has many things that makes me think. Have I achieved what I wanted to achieve? Am I doing things right? The decisions I made, were they correct, in hindsight? So many things I can ask.
However, 20 years of my life now and I have seen many new friends. Many trusty, loyal, helpful, sincere friends.
20 years of my life, I have seen the horrors of extreme sports, of war, of horrifying images of those who are impoverished.
20 years of my life, which has been through the ups and downs.
20 years of my life, which is ever changing.
I watched on TV in horror, at the death of F1 legend Ayrton Senna, which happened on 01/05/1994 (Malaysian Labour Day) on the news.
I saw the first tower of the World Trade Centre in New York collapse live on TV before school started.
I read about many many incidents. Perhaps more recently, Steve Irwin and Peter Brock in Australia.
But yeah, I guess that's life.
I've seen many good things though. I've been to Palm Garden, and the opening of the Renaissance hotel at Palm Garden. I've seen Dr. Mahathir sit on the same table as my dad, at The Palace of the Golden Horses. I've seen Tiger Woods within 10 metres of myself. I've shaken hands and hugged Dr. Ling (think of Transport Ministry, to freshen the mind). I've learnt my trade in tennis, I've done swimming, I've learnt the joys of 22 people chasing a ball in an enclosed pitch. I've met some of the loveliest people. I've met some stingy bastards too.
But I think, most of all, the greatest thing... Is the memory of being as a family, something my family cannot do today. We are all spread apart so very far from each other, even at this moment. My last lasting memory of being a real family (almost), would be XMAS 1997. When we all were home for Xmas, except for my married oldest brother.
I only wish that I could have everyone under one roof again for a meal.
Our lives are so far apart, yet intertwined by hope of another meeting some day.
I don't have very much to ask for this birthday nor XMAS in fact. I think, the greatest thing is that I have been given the oppurtunity to do medicine, to meet the friends I have now, to cherish, love and enjoy the friendships of past and present, especially when it is sincerely due to some. My happiness is brought by the presence of family, the constant gathering of a family to have a feast together.
Perhaps I never would admit it, but some how, just is it possible that my life seems really hollow? That, even with all the friends in the world, it is just so hard to replace the youthful feelings of being part of a whole family and all that.
Sigh.
Turning 20 is also meant to be a time of change. That the resolutions of losing weight and getting fit as well as having an active and gifted brain would be well on its way to being achieved. Yet..
Ah well. I'll only say one thing. There's no looking to the past except for memories. We don't have a time machine. But there's one thing we can do now. We can alter the future by doing something for the present. I want to make it clear that I will move forward, stride as big and as far forward as I can, without the slightest hesitation, to bring forth a whole lot more happiness to the family, my family of friends as well, and all those who associate well with me.
I wish I was home. That's all I wished for.
I don't think of birthday parties (I never had one, incidentally, NEVER EVER), I don't think of anything too extravagant, but my parents are always more than happy to satisfy the wants. But I am no longer satisfied with that. Turning 20, I want to return the favour. I want to bring happiness and everything positive.
I suppose I do already, but I'm going to give medicine my 110% from now on. I know I never really worked last year (despite what you may have seen), so I am going to give my best while at the same time, become fairly active in sports.
My birthday. If only everyone was here to celebrate with me.
Glad to see no one forgot. Samuel Seeto, Gab Lee have msg-ed me. Lorraine, thanks for that SMS. Seeto, thanks for putting it up on your MSN name. But yes, I guess, I never would ever expect anyone to message me. In fact the only time I remember most fondly about friends is when I was in boarding school. That my Indo friend got me a brand new Manchester United jersey for my birthday, and that Samuel Seeto then got me a Harry Kewell Liverpool FC jersey. And that the usual fun ensued with birthday bashes. I don't have many memories otherwise. I've not had a cake for 8 years. Don't think I'll be having a cake any time soon.
Wish you both were here. We'd all go to a Japanese restaurant along with my brother and his friends, and we'd all have a good chat, ranging from stuff at TCD, and to us at RCSI. And not only gossip, we could go into TV series, anime, sports. Sigh. I love birthdays, but at the same time, I somehow loathe them. Because it really isn't any fun without everyone. But I guess we all have to make the best out of it.
:)
Anyway, its nearly 3am, I don't feel like sleeping. I'll be next to the phone. Must get credit. A whole lot of phone calls to make the next week or 10 days rather. Important phone calls. Even if they are overseas. Even if it will cost money (its cash, just cash, nothing's more precious than life).
Turning 20 marks a turning point in my life. A time in which I bear many more responsibilities than before.
Turning 20 means that I no longer have that youthful run of energy to keep thinking young. I have to mature further to allow for a responsible life.
Of course, this doesn't mean I get a GF, nor does it mean I get a car on my birthday. Far from it. I'm merely starting the next stage of my life, my tertiary education (and possible specialisation) is now the heart of education, having made way from secondary education.
Turning 20 has many things that makes me think. Have I achieved what I wanted to achieve? Am I doing things right? The decisions I made, were they correct, in hindsight? So many things I can ask.
However, 20 years of my life now and I have seen many new friends. Many trusty, loyal, helpful, sincere friends.
20 years of my life, I have seen the horrors of extreme sports, of war, of horrifying images of those who are impoverished.
20 years of my life, which has been through the ups and downs.
20 years of my life, which is ever changing.
I watched on TV in horror, at the death of F1 legend Ayrton Senna, which happened on 01/05/1994 (Malaysian Labour Day) on the news.
I saw the first tower of the World Trade Centre in New York collapse live on TV before school started.
I read about many many incidents. Perhaps more recently, Steve Irwin and Peter Brock in Australia.
But yeah, I guess that's life.
I've seen many good things though. I've been to Palm Garden, and the opening of the Renaissance hotel at Palm Garden. I've seen Dr. Mahathir sit on the same table as my dad, at The Palace of the Golden Horses. I've seen Tiger Woods within 10 metres of myself. I've shaken hands and hugged Dr. Ling (think of Transport Ministry, to freshen the mind). I've learnt my trade in tennis, I've done swimming, I've learnt the joys of 22 people chasing a ball in an enclosed pitch. I've met some of the loveliest people. I've met some stingy bastards too.
But I think, most of all, the greatest thing... Is the memory of being as a family, something my family cannot do today. We are all spread apart so very far from each other, even at this moment. My last lasting memory of being a real family (almost), would be XMAS 1997. When we all were home for Xmas, except for my married oldest brother.
I only wish that I could have everyone under one roof again for a meal.
Our lives are so far apart, yet intertwined by hope of another meeting some day.
I don't have very much to ask for this birthday nor XMAS in fact. I think, the greatest thing is that I have been given the oppurtunity to do medicine, to meet the friends I have now, to cherish, love and enjoy the friendships of past and present, especially when it is sincerely due to some. My happiness is brought by the presence of family, the constant gathering of a family to have a feast together.
Perhaps I never would admit it, but some how, just is it possible that my life seems really hollow? That, even with all the friends in the world, it is just so hard to replace the youthful feelings of being part of a whole family and all that.
Sigh.
Turning 20 is also meant to be a time of change. That the resolutions of losing weight and getting fit as well as having an active and gifted brain would be well on its way to being achieved. Yet..
Ah well. I'll only say one thing. There's no looking to the past except for memories. We don't have a time machine. But there's one thing we can do now. We can alter the future by doing something for the present. I want to make it clear that I will move forward, stride as big and as far forward as I can, without the slightest hesitation, to bring forth a whole lot more happiness to the family, my family of friends as well, and all those who associate well with me.
I wish I was home. That's all I wished for.
I don't think of birthday parties (I never had one, incidentally, NEVER EVER), I don't think of anything too extravagant, but my parents are always more than happy to satisfy the wants. But I am no longer satisfied with that. Turning 20, I want to return the favour. I want to bring happiness and everything positive.
I suppose I do already, but I'm going to give medicine my 110% from now on. I know I never really worked last year (despite what you may have seen), so I am going to give my best while at the same time, become fairly active in sports.
My birthday. If only everyone was here to celebrate with me.
Glad to see no one forgot. Samuel Seeto, Gab Lee have msg-ed me. Lorraine, thanks for that SMS. Seeto, thanks for putting it up on your MSN name. But yes, I guess, I never would ever expect anyone to message me. In fact the only time I remember most fondly about friends is when I was in boarding school. That my Indo friend got me a brand new Manchester United jersey for my birthday, and that Samuel Seeto then got me a Harry Kewell Liverpool FC jersey. And that the usual fun ensued with birthday bashes. I don't have many memories otherwise. I've not had a cake for 8 years. Don't think I'll be having a cake any time soon.
Wish you both were here. We'd all go to a Japanese restaurant along with my brother and his friends, and we'd all have a good chat, ranging from stuff at TCD, and to us at RCSI. And not only gossip, we could go into TV series, anime, sports. Sigh. I love birthdays, but at the same time, I somehow loathe them. Because it really isn't any fun without everyone. But I guess we all have to make the best out of it.
:)
Anyway, its nearly 3am, I don't feel like sleeping. I'll be next to the phone. Must get credit. A whole lot of phone calls to make the next week or 10 days rather. Important phone calls. Even if they are overseas. Even if it will cost money (its cash, just cash, nothing's more precious than life).
